AIRSTRIP ONE

Entries from November 2007

Teddy Bear Mohammed - A Job for the SAS

November 29, 2007 · Comments Off

This morning I made my morning coffee, switched on the BBC News and was dismayed to hear Dermot Monahan say that British school teacher Gillian Gibbons is due to be tried for “inciting religious hatred against Islam”.

This is not what she is being charged with at all. She is being charged with “Blasphemy” and “Insulting the Prophet of Islam”.

By reporting this story using the linguistic terms of our own culture’s values and standards of behaviour, the BBC are shamefully lending respectability to a primitive, intolerant society which doesn’t deserve it.

Shame on you BBC, for seeing five fingers when there are four!

This latest “teddy bear” incident has nothing to to with “respect” for religion and everything to do with narrow-minded extremists who are only to happy to kick up a storm to promote their own warped view of the World. To seriously be debating the legitimacy of what this school teacher has done is absurd.

The way our New Labour government is behaving is shameful too. Government exists primarily to defend its own peoples rather than telling them how to live their lives. Ours should be denouncing Sudan in the strongest possible terms. We should be throwing out Sudanese diplomats, closing down their embassy and cutting off all diplomatic ties. Most importantly, we should never be made to feel that we have to panda to rotten cultural values that are not just “different” but blatantly wrong.

We should be demanding that this woman be set free, setting a deadline for her release and then we must send in the SAS to get her out if the Sudanese government does not comply with our wishes. A show of strength is needed rather than a half-hearted attempt to appease. We need to “roar” like a lion not “meow” like a pussy cat with its tail between its legs.

Categories: News

Schoolteacher arrested in Disputed Territories

November 26, 2007 · Comments Off

An Ocianian schoolteacher has been arrested in the Disputed Territories accused of insulting the Brotherhood’s Prophet, Emannuel Goldstein, after she allowed her pupils to name a teddy bear “Emmanuel”. The teddy bear has now been beheaded in accordance with the Laws of The Disputed Territories.

Teddy Emmanuel Colleagues of Ms. Chimp from Airstrip Three, said that the teacher made an “innocent mistake” by letting the six and seven-year-olds choose the name. Ms Chimp was arrested after routine telescreen monitoring.

Airstrip One’s leading newspaper “The Daily Chestnut” has learned the charge could lead to six months in jail or 40 lashes and Inner Party members from the Ministry of Truth in Khartoum are expected to visit Ms Gibbons in custody later today.
“We are in contact with the authorities here and they have visited the teacher and she is in a good condition,” a Minitrue spokesman said.

Fellow teachers said that they feared for Ms Chimp’s safety after receiving reports that men had started gathering outside the correction centre where she was being held.

The school’s director said: “This is a very sensitive issue. We are very worried about her safety. It was a completely innocent mistake and Miss Chimp would have never wanted to insult Emmanuel Goldstein.

Categories: Pure Orwell

Proposed “Paint Your Wheelie-bin” Day

November 10, 2007 · Comments Off

I propose a national “Paint Your Wheelie-bin Day”!

Wheelie-bin

If we have to have these ugly things in-front of every house in Britain then we can at least do our best to make them look nice. Better yet… why don’t the local councils take the initiative and give them to us pre-painted?

Categories: Fun

Benches - Good News, Bad News

November 10, 2007 · Comments Off

The good news is that two new benches have been added to the neighbourhood.

The bad news is that the local council has demonstrated a total lack of aesthetic understanding by locating them in bloody stupid places.

A little way up from the middle of the avenue where two benches went missing from a nice patch of green, two new benches have suddenly appeared. Both are located in seemingly random positions on the pavement which is a matter of concern for all pedestrians and especially mothers with push-chairs.

One is situated against railings and looking away from garden plots.

New Bench 1

One is just able to see a housing estate from it through parked cars.

View from 1st New Bench

The second is also against railings facing away from the wonderful architecture of the old Victorian waterworks building and the greenery of its grounds.

Second New Bench

One has a marvelous view of a building site from this one.

View from Second New Bench

Someone was also clearly worried about the new potential climbing risk that this new bench presented and so they have thoughtfully made the fence behind it much taller and garnished it with “fuck off” razor spikes. Isn’t that wonderful.

Well I guess that old people do have somewhere to rest when they walk along the avenue so some good has come out of these two new benches but I can’t help feeling that one of these benches would have been better situated a hundred yards away in the public garden at the curve in the avenue where a bench stood for forty years until it mysteriously disappeared last year.

Missing Benches - Woodside Avenue and Fordington Road

Categories: Missing Benches

“Kettle”, “Pot” and “Black”

November 10, 2007 · Comments Off

In a BBC News story today the head of the Muslim Council of Britain has compared the political climate in Britain to the National Socialism of the 1930s and has warned against Britain becoming like Nazi Germany.

Whilst it may be true that Britain is becoming a more totalitarian society in many respects, it comes nowhere near to a parallel with the Nazi society in Germany. If anything, the changes made to the laws of Britain over the last twenty years are mirroring George Orwell’s dystopian society of “Nineteen Eighty-Four”, his most famous work.

We have to ask ourselves why. Why have we got CCTV cameras all over the place and why have we veered away from the “innocent until prov-en guilty” tenant of the Magna Carta? It has surely happened as a result of a higher crime rate as well as the crime of terrorism being hard to prove before the act.

A few days ago Sanina Malik, a twenty three year old Muslim woman from Southall was was cleared of the charge of possessing an article “for a purpose connected with the commission, preparation or instigation of an act of terrorism”. She had terrorist manuals on her computer and a till roll from a “security side” airport branch W.H.Smiths where she worked was found upon which she had written that with each day she felt herself more moved towards committing an act of “martyrdom”. She has the motivation and part of the means to carry out a future atrocity. If left to her own devices how long would it have been before she had bought a couple of dozen bottles of hydrogen peroxide at various different chemists and built herself a bomb? Of course she can’t be found guilty of anything because she hasn’t actually done anything yet; that is the difference between this country and Nazi Germany. She’s been freed for the moment and I’m sure that MI5 will be watching her carefully from now on.

So where do we find parallels to Nazi Germany in the World today. Surely these parallels exist almost exclusively in almost every Muslim State where women are detained without trial for nothing more that the “crimes” of wearing lipstick or committing adultery. The unlucky ones are stoned or put to death both to serve as a warning to others and to provide public “entertainment”. In Iran people are regularly shot in the head as family entertainment in a large football stadium paid for and built by the UN.

In the 1930s the Grand Mufti of Jerusalem was given money by the Nazis to set-up his own divisions of SS soldiers. He was personally allowed to broadcast from Berlin to the Muslim world calling for a Muslim uprising against the British and the allies.

Surely this is a fact that all Muslims have to face if the lessons of history are to be learnt. It is not something which can be conveniently ignored. Instead of twisting the truth to promote more anti-British feeling amongst those peace-seeking Muslims in Britain today any responsible leader of the MCB should surely be facing up to the truth rather than trying to win propaganda points ? Muhammad Abdul Bari is grossly wrong to compare Britain with Nazi Germany. Britain is something very different. Britain will never allow people like him to enforce their Sharia Law against the will of the majority. Britain will uphold the freedom and democracy that people like him would never willingly allow.

Categories: News

Conservative Jelly Fish

November 4, 2007 · Comments Off

Conservative Party Chairman:
How many fingers am I holding up Mr Hasty-low?

4fingers

Hasty-low:
Four.

Conservative Party Chairman:
No, is five Mr. Hasty-low. You are the weakest link. Goodbye!

Categories: Pure Orwell

Speeking the un-speakable

November 4, 2007 · Comments Off

In a typical New Labour opportunist spin-move Peter Hain said on BBC News 24 this morning that what Nigel Hastilow said about Enoch Powell shows that although the Conservative leadership is sensitive to the question of immigration, many lesser conservative politicians are “still racist”. Very clever Mr. Hain. Just the sort of behaviour voters have come to expect from a Fabian toadie like you.

What Mr. Hastilow said was not racist. He simply had the guts to say what many people know is true. The culture in this country has changed as a result of the red carpet having been rolled out for foreigners. I am 45 and when I was a 15 year-old could never have envisioned just how much things could change in thirty years.

I am not racist. I enjoy pluralism in society and I am proud of living in a country that has traditionally taken in foreigners from all over the world. Sure, it probably can be shown that migration has had positive economic benefits but what angers me is the total disregard for the effect that a large influx of foreigners has had on British culture.

“Stiff upper lip” is often a good quality and not necessarily something to be despised. Thirty years ago football players gave each other a gentle pat on the back when a goal was scored. Now they succumb to crowd euphoria, get down on their knees in-front of thousands and hold up their fists as if to say “I am the greatest”. This is “un-British” and has I believe, come about purely because many of our football players are not British any more. It is a small and some would say trivial example of culture change but many such instances of cultural change have combined to make this country very different from what it was thirty years ago.

Another example; driving down the street with ones stereo system at full blast was something initially done by almost exclusively West Indians. There, I’ve said it. It is a fact. It started in the late 1970s and early 1980s. Before that, one “tut tutted” at people who listened relatively quietly to their small transistor radios in public places. I knew people who’d listen to the cricket, for example, when they were out and about but the volume was always kept low and disturbing others was frowned upon. Having ones stereo on at full blast is now practiced by all and seems to have become acceptable but each time I hear the “boom boom boom” of the bass in a car as it passes my window at one o’clock in the morning I think “Asshole! what makes you think that other people want to listen to you bloody music?”. To use public space as though it is exclusively ones own is arrogant behaviour and although it is not politically correct to say it, it is behaviour that was originally started by arrogant young black men. Don’t look at me in that tone of voice! You know I’m right.

It is understandable that immigrants want to bring some of their own culture with them when they come to this country but undeniable that the effect of this has been to change for the indigenous population of “original” Britons. In a relatively short time the recent influx of Poles into this country has seen the springing up of Polish shops all over the place selling Polish produce. Fine, some would say but what is conveniently ignored is the fact that when a Polish shop opens it replaces a British one.

One of my local pubs and probably one of the oldest in the neighbourhood has been taken over by Australians who stock more lager than beer and serve Thai food. Well I like beer and don’t like lager. I like British food and dislike Thai. In the last 30 years I’ve seen my own culture disappearing. Pie and mash shops have gone. Eels are not on the menu any more. Guy Fawkes has been forgotten about and the more commercially viable “Halloween” has replaced it. Fireworks can now be heard at all times in the year because so many different cultures have their own celebrations at different times. Even some local North London parks have instigated a policy of not allowing people to take their dogs off their leads.

Politically and socially Britain has changed beyond recognition. We now have a paramilitary police force who wear riot gear as a matter of course. The right to protest has been taken away from the British people. The Magna Carta has been used as toilet paper by this New Labour government and the very un-British policy of “control orders” are used against people who have never been found guilty of any crime. Something else… I don’t care what anybody says, holding an unarmed man down in a tube carriage and shooting him seven times in the head at point blank range is simply unacceptable and we should be ashamed that British police have done this. Even if it had been a terrorist that the police were dealing with there was no need to do what they did. There was no evidence of bulky suicide bomb vest and it was a disgusting way for anyone to behave, let alone a policeman.

There is no doubt in my mind that the promotion of multiculturalism and tolerance towards other cultures has led in many ways to the watering down of my own. I know many people who feel the same way as I do although most are careful to choose the right time to say it. Nothing is being done to curb foreign influences the cultural values in this country will simply continue to change at an ever faster rate. Our way of life has been hijacked and further tolerance will simply lead to the eradication of a recognisable British culture all together. As a nation of people with a proud historical past that has led to a civilised way of life should we led down this path of cultural suicide like lambs to the slaughter without consultation?

Categories: News

Mobile Phones are A Drop in an Ocean

November 2, 2007 · Comments Off

Imagine a regular-sized box of matches made out of plasticine. Now squash it down a bit so it is somewhat wider and shorter in height. That’s about the size of my MP4 video player.

I can fit 10 episodes of “Have I Got News for You” on it although the rechargeable battery will only play three; that’s about one and a half hours.

Now think about all this fuss over drivers using mobile phones. I can stuck a small ball of blu-tack to the back of my player and watch it in the cafe at lunch when I’m eating my ham and eggs. I can also stick it to the bottom of my computer monitor and watch it (out of the corner of my eye) when I’m working on the PC.

A driver could just as easily stick it to the middle of his steering wheel.

What we need is not a new law to ban mobile phones whilst driving. What we need is a blanket “distractions” law to cover every eventuality of a driver using some of his/her “processing power” for something other than driving.

This would be quite easy to enforce. In the event of a serious crash, the police would be able to find some evidence of an mp3 player (music) or mp4 player (video) having been used at the time of the crash just as they can say whether or not a mobile phone has been used.

In the future we will have so many “miniturised” options to focus some of our attention on whilst driving. What’s the point in making new laws to cover each eventuality? Soon there will be so many options that it will be impossible for our law-makers to keep up. Why not just have one “blanket” rule. When you drive you do noting else but drive. That would cover them all.

Categories: News

Hazardous to Your Health (by Intelligent Design)

November 2, 2007 · Comments Off

“Should the dangers be clearly sign-posted?”

This was a serious question on tonight’s BBC News as a part of a report about an eleven-year-old boy who fell to his death whilst walking on Snowdonia.

Sign-posted! No thanks. Isn’t it enough that the areas in which we have to walk in our cities and towns are cluttered with street furniture. Do we really need sign-posts everywhere, including areas of natural outstanding beauty?

Where will it all end. Will we see signs next to every park fountain warning of a danger of drowning or nailed to every tree to warn about the dangers of climbing?

The hard fact of life is that kids who make poor judgements leading to their own death do not have any more kids and through this mechanism of natural selection human beings have reached the stage of evolution that they presently occupy. Where would we be now if the genes that govern judgement affecting survival were exempted from reality?

We have to accept that the seemingly needless death of “innocents” is neither unnecessary nor unfair. It has always happened and unless we allow it to continue we will be stopping our own evolution in its tracks.

Categories: News